So, why wouldn’t I speak up if I’m getting a massage and there’s a metal bar pressing into my chin from time to time? Seems ridiculous that I wouldn’t, but here I am, all gutsy and fully dressed. So there’s that: naked and face-down does not a warrior make.
Not feeling like complaining either. Why not? Because mentioning that you want something changed is the equivalent of “hey, I’m not happy over here.” Goes back to the notion of “pick your battles.” Once I decided I had to say something, next came, “how?”
Depending on how you say it and how the person hears it, it can come across the wrong way and you don’t want the person who just began rubbing you down to be ticked off at you. Also, there’s the whole “what if I say something and there’s nothing he can do about it?” So then, what do I do? Haul myself off the table and decide to walk out on my massage? I would have to, I should think, if the bar was bothering me sufficiently to mention it in the first place. Otherwise, I must accept “this is the way it is here, on this table.” And then, I’d want “the bar in face discount” for the inconvenience because this definitely isn’t the norm. The problem with speaking up is: things may escalate and then you have to keep making decisions when all you did was come for a massage, to relax, to stop making decisions.
Seems to me that somewhat straightforward exchanges, like getting a routine massage, are not routine at all. Like driving a car. We take it for granted until something goes wrong and then realize what a mess it can become.
When something goes wrong though, speaking up gives the provider an opportunity to make you more comfortable and it can turn discomfort into an indulgence. Brandon made me feel comfortable for having said something, and fortunately, he was able to correct the situation. I felt better than ever. Rub the body and stroke the ego, it was the complete package.
(All that’s left for me to resolve is whether or not anyone out there has ever walked out during a massage. That’s gotta be a good story, would love to hear that one.)